Perfection speaks for itself about the desire for perfection and the control I wanted to keep to reach this so-called ‘perfection’ of the ‘ideal ballet body’ and the exquisite ballet technique ability I wanted to have…along with other things.
“Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well” – Arnauld, Angelique
Perfection
Sad.
Depressed.
Or am I being extreme?
Low.
Lacking self-worth.
Guilty.
I know I could do more.
What stops me?
Perfection
Perfection
Perfection.
Scared of trying too hard as that eliminates excuses.
Self-control.
That’s a desire;
I live in hope of it.
But the flesh is weak.
I understand that more now. But it’s difficult to accept.
I long for the day when
I am in control
Totally.
Is it possible?
Will that day ever come?
I live in hope.
But if I knew it would not
I would rather die.
But I hate
running away.
I want to be strong.
Strong and in control.
That is success,
along with the rest.
I think when we strip all bare,
there is a hope,
a desire,
even a need.
for perfection.
Leighah 1994/5